When I get a can of Coke from the office vending machine and it’s cool with condensation and I can just imagine the taste of that caramely sweet brown drink running down my throat refreshing me for all time, I give it a little tap with my fingernail on the top. But, people have pointed out to me that this does nothing. They’re right.
I like the way it sounds though. And, it’s easy to believe that it will prevent the soda can from fizzing uncontrollably and spilling over the sides and getting my hands all sticky. But, it’s an old wives’ tale. It doesn’t do a gosh-darned thing.
But, that doesn’t keep me from doing it. And when people tell me, why do you do that, it doesn’t make a difference, I say I don’t care. I like to hear it. And I’ll tap it for them to hear, making sure it’s really quiet and the only sound is my fingernail going tin-tin-tin. And, I’ll crack it open and take a long slug and give a refreshed ahhh and they’ll look at me and I’ll look back with a crazy eye that says don’t tell me how to drink my vending machines soda.